Step 1: Straight off the airport shuttle, meet some American girls in your hostel room and offer to French braid their hair. Immediately decide to go out with them without changing the yoga pants you wore on your flight.
Step 2: Go to shitty pub in Temple Bar. Pay too much for a drink and listen to American country music for 30 minutes. Insist on moving on to someplace better.
Step 3: Get dinner from a shitty fast food stand. Meet the only unfriendly Irishman in Ireland. Ask for pub recommendations only to be told he’s not from Dublin so he doesn’t know any (even though he must live here???)
Step 4: Another tourist trap in Temple Bar, but one playing traditionally Irish music.
Step 5: Convince your apprehensive new BFFs to find a pub where you don’t pay 8€ for a beer. Cross the river into Northside (its not that rough a neighborhood, I promise) and go to the first bar you see across the river.
Step 6: Insert yourself into a conversation between two Irish girls at the bar. Rib on them for ordering Coors Lite. Meet all their mates. You now have Irish friends.
Step 7: Bar hop and drink too much with your new Irish friends. Have them make fun of you for wearing “pajamas” out to a bar. Continue to not give a fuck.
Step 8: Wake up the next morning with a terrible hangover. Aspirin, coffee, water. Ask a shop girl for a good cafe. Enjoy that you’re in a country where you can converse with strangers. Relax. Your hangover will pass.